Guide

Throwing a party with friends of friends, without each group keeping to its corner

Mixing two friend groups is the best way to meet new people — and the surest way to end up with a party where each group stays in its own corner of the living room. What works, what gets stuck, and how to stay in charge of the guest list.

Why friends of friends make good parties

A friend of a friend isn’t a stranger. Someone in the room knows them, and can say where they’re from and why they’re there. That changes everything: people introduce themselves more easily, trust each other sooner, and the conversation already has a starting point — “So how do you know Léa?”

It’s also the most natural way to widen your circle of friends once you’ve finished studying: many of the people you end up seeing again, you first met through someone. A party that mixes two or three groups does exactly that, without anyone feeling they’re there “to meet people”.

The risk is well known: two crowds that don’t mix, the kitchen on one side, the sofa on the other, and a host shuttling between them all evening. Almost everything is decided beforehand.

The guest list: the host decides, and says so

A party with friends of friends works when everyone knows who’s coming, and one person keeps the list. Two simple rules are enough.

Ask before bringing someone. “Can I come with Hugo?” is a question, not an announcement. The host is allowed to say no — because there isn’t enough room, because dinner is for eight, or without having to explain why.
The host names people. “Bring whoever you like” gives you a party where nobody knows half the guests, the host included. “Come with Hugo, and tell Sarah to come too” gives you a party the host can prepare for.

A rough guide, and it’s only an opinion: a core of people who know each other and, around them, enough new faces to change the feel of the party, without any one group ending up on its own. Two people invited “through” the same friend feel less isolated than one.

Before: give everyone something in common

The awkward part of a mixed party is the first quarter of an hour, when nobody knows what to talk about. You avoid it by creating common ground before anyone even arrives.

One conversation for everyone. Not one message per group: a single thread where both crowds read the same information, and already see each other reply.
A “who brings what” list. It’s the best icebreaker there is: everyone has a role when they arrive, and “Did you make the guacamole?” is a perfect opening line. Our “Who brings what” guide has templates for each type of party.
An excuse. A birthday, a match, a theme, a housewarming: a reason to be there that everyone shares, even if they don’t know each other.

During: introduce people, and mix up the jobs

The host introduces people with a detail, not just a first name: “Hugo, Sarah — you both went to Lisbon this summer.” The detail gives them their second line, and that’s always the one that’s missing.

Then mix up the jobs rather than the people: someone from the first group and someone from the second on the playlist, in the kitchen, at the barbecue, hunting for a corkscrew. People talk far more easily doing something together than standing face to face with a drink in hand. A board game, a quiz or karaoke do the same job on a bigger scale.

And the host doesn’t have to run the whole evening: once two people from different groups are talking, they pull others in. Often you only need to get the first three conversations going.

After: keep in touch

You can tell the next day whether a party with friends of friends worked: did people who didn’t know each other add each other, message each other, make plans to meet again? Two things help a lot.

Everyone’s photos, in one place. It’s the most natural reason to get back in touch — “Have you got the photo of the cake?”
A simple way to add each other, without having to ask for the number of someone you’ve met once.

The checklist, with or without an app

An excuse for the party, and a date.
A list of names, kept by the host — not “bring whoever you like”.
One clear rule: ask before bringing someone.
A single conversation for all the guests, opened before the party.
A list of who brings what, so everyone arrives with a role.
Three introductions ready, each with a detail.
Jobs to share: the playlist, the cooking, a game.
The next day, everyone’s photos in one place.

Doing it with AmidAmi

Everything above works with a notebook and a group chat. Here’s what the app does — and only what it really does.

The host invites people by name, from among their friends in the app. For a friend of a friend, there are two ways: you become friends first — that’s what the “Friends of friends” row on the home screen is for — or you send them the party link.
The link doesn’t let anyone in on its own. The person opens it in their browser, without installing the app, and answers: it’s a request, which the host accepts or not. Until the host has accepted it, they see neither the exact address nor the guest list.
Guests can pass the link on — those who answered “I’m in” or “Maybe” — unless the host turns off “My guests can send the link”. Every answer is still a request.
One chat per party, the same for all the guests, and a page where everyone picks what they’re bringing.
The next day, the recap: everyone’s photos in one place. And the people you actually shared the party with may be suggested to you in the “Suggestions” row on the home screen, under “At the same event” — as long as they haven’t turned suggestions off. Adding them is still a request, which they accept or not.

What the “Friends of friends” and “Suggestions” rows show exactly, and how to take yourself out of them, is explained on the “Friends of friends” page.

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